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Book Review: The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People by Stephen Covey

I just wrapped up The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People by Stephen Covey. I’m finally crossing off books that have been recommended to me several years ago. This was one of those books that I had already heard so much about, especially given my highly habitual life.

The book centers around 7 habits that Covey covers:
  • Be proactive.
  • Begin with the end in mind.
  • Put first things first.
  • Think win-win.
  • Seek to understand, then to be understood.
  • Synergize.
  • Sharpen the saw.

The first three habits are focused around the self while habits 4-6 are about the external relations. The last habit is about constant improvement. 

What makes Covey’s book easy to understand and approachable are the real-world examples and applicability to everyday life. I won’t go into detail about each of the habits. However, I will say that each habit is a constant practice for me which makes sense given Covey’s message.
Of the habits, the most difficult for me are seeking to understand and thinking win-win. Too often we hear the saying that we have two ears and one mouth – pointing to the importance for active listening and focusing on the speaker, not of how we should respond or navigate the conversation to fit our own motives. Personally, I can be highly impulsive and want to jump into conversations quickly. As a sales person, this is a well-known problem. It’s akin to pitching without knowing or understand the needs of the customer.
The second habit I know I struggle with is to think win-win. Admittedly, I do struggle with looking for winning scenarios for other parties, not just myself. This is a key to the negotiating text Getting to Yes – while focusing on interests, not positions. My default thinking is to win regardless of other parties. I want to point to my competitiveness to want to be the best. However, it’s most likely just my own selfishness and ego. Maybe it’s all the same.
I believe I have very strong locus of control when it comes to my internal drivers. This also fits well with seventh habit of always sharpening the saw – always improving. In fact, Covey touches on, in particular, the importance of physical health and exercise. This is one of the most important areas of my life. As an extrovert, continuing to develop my external-facing habits is critical for continued success. Covey reiterates over and over again how society is beyond independent people. Instead, it’s about society –interdependence. We rely on relationships to build and succeed.

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Being Uncomfortable Never Changes

“I see her standing there… I think I’ve seen her around, but now, I’m seeing her right there in front of me. She stands out with almost a glow to her. I can’t explain it, but I’m immediately drawn towards her. My heart’s racing because I know that if I don’t say anything to her at all, she may disappear and I’ll never see her again. I have to make a move, right? She’s not wearing a ring… that’s a good thing. Crap! She’s seen me. Ahhh, the jig is up! Okay, I need to get up and introduce myself. How do I greet her? Should I just walk right up and tell her I think she’s beautiful? Maybe. Wait… maybe I can just say I’ve seen her around, and I just want to introduce myself. Is that too casual? What’s my next move after that? Should I ask her out? Will I have this opportunity again? I really wish my heart would stop beating so damn fast… I think it’s about to jump out of my chest. Damn, I’m getting hot under these clothes now… Crap! She’s getting up to leave… what do I do?! Eff it! I’m going in!”
I’ve learned over the years that as much as I say I’m comfortable being uncomfortable, I am still almost always uncomfortable. That is, even after writing over 160 posts, working with executives from startups to multi-million/ billion dollar companies, or even talking to women, I can still feel uncomfortable about the next “opportunity”.
Case in point: I’ve written a lot over the years, and I have strong readership. I get great feedback and enthusiastic compliments about my writing as well as some challenges. However, when I finished writing the first version of my book back in November, I was incredibly uncomfortable and nervous about asking editors to read and provide feedback. I felt my writing still wasn’t good enough (probably isn’t now and probably will never be perfect). Given the book is about failure and I go into detail about our (my) missteps at Body Boss, I felt that much more vulnerable… exposed.
However, I know, too, that to be a better writer and to produce a book worth reading, I need the input from peers. I need them to be critical. I don’t need the pats on the back so much as I need to know what to improve on. That’s uncomfortable, but it’s necessaryto grow.
Maya Angelou once said, “Each time I write a book, every time I face that yellow pad, the challenge is so great. I have written eleven books, but each time I think, ‘Uh oh, they’re going to find out now. I’ve run a game on everybody and they’re going to find me out.”
I’ve written a few blog posts and a single book, so if Ms. Angelou feels that way, at least I’m not alone.
Coming up on Thursday, I’m going to be a speaker at the second edition of FuckUp Nights at the Atlanta Tech Village. I’ve pitched countless number of times. I’ve spoken to entrepreneurs, friends, execs at the big corporates about failure. Heck, I just wrote a book! And yes, I’m a bit (read: very) nervous about it.
I’ve realized that I probably won’t be comfortable all the time about many things I do. However, I’ve also caught myself to realize why am I uncomfortable? Am I pushing myself to be better? Am I pushing myself to learn more? Am I pushing myself because I believe in what I’m doing? If I say yes to any of those questions, then being uncomfortable is a great thing to be. Over time, I’ve just learned to continue embracing opportunities… even if my heart feels like it’s about to jump out of my chest.
What are you doing now that makes you uncomfortable? How do you pursue more “uncomfortable” things? 
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5 Steps to Overcome the CHASM Between You and Successful Habits and Passions

Source: http://www.quotesvalley.com/images/09/motivation-is-what-gets-you-started-habit-is-what-keeps-you-going.jpg
Recently, I got a chance to sit down with the President and co-founder of IRUNURUN, Travis Dommert. Met him walking down the street of Piedmont with a friend. I actually yelled at my buddy from 200 yards away. It’s funny how things work.
Anyways, great guy with some deep thinking. We talked a little about irunurun, especially sharing some experiences from Body Boss, and how he and his team are pivoting slightly towards building more sustainable habits after watching how users were tracking and engaging in their run-tracking platform. Now, irunurun is…

IRUNURUN is a performance and accountability app designed to help people and organizations achieve through focus, consistency, and accountability. 

If you’ve been reading my blog regularly or at least ​a few articles, you’ll know my interest in psychology and passion-pursuits. So Travis and I had a great talk, and it made me think more about building sustainable habits. But there was this one idea that really hit me and made a lot of sense — the Gap vs. the CHASM.
I wrote about Getting Over the Gap previously, but I hadn’t thought about the follow-up CHASM that exists. It makes sense. That is, getting over the gap is really tough, but getting over the chasm is REALLY, REALLY TOUGH. Crossing the chasm is consistently​ doing (vs. just doing) and can be referred to as “mastery”. This is where many people, I’ve seen not make it over.
I’ve seen entrepreneurs take the plunge and just after building an MVP (or oftentimes more than), watch traction not quite be where they dreamed, and they call it wraps without actually trying to find out why or how to pivot. There’s a saying to “fail fast”, but don’t quit prematurely. I’ve seen others find the financial burden of jumping off the original gap​ (and off a full-time gig) quickly swimming back to the full-time safety net. I don’t see enough people really endure and knock through walls where challenges exist; instead, wanting to turn back around. I’m not saying I’m not one of those to have turned around in some points, but maybe this opens my eyes on how to succeed.
Real back-of-the-napkin stuff right here… See the CHASM? It’s huge. Have your five steps grounded in your WHY to reach mastery
Travis described there being five stepping stones to help get over the chasm… each, anchored in a bedrock of some purpose — the “why”. I think my business school professor for an Innovation class would be thrilled to hear me say this. The five stepping blocks are:
  1. ​Clarity– What’s the goal? What’s the purpose? Who’s the team? Etc. This is mostly living and breathing and will need to adapt over time.
  2. Rhythm– Build a cadence that is sustainable, and sticking to it. I like to reflect on this story about how a guy did a “life hack” by getting up everyday at 4:30AM for 21 days. Except, he didn’t do it everyday straight. Instead, he focused on the weekdays because he knew that he couldn’t sustain early days on the weekends.
  3. Accountability– Who are you accountable to? For me, I’m accountable, largely, to me and I can usually drive my feet towards a goal. However, accountability can also come from work colleagues, friends, saying publicly you’re going to do something (like buddy Matt performing 100 asks for 100 days).
  4. Reinforcement– What enables you to consistently achieve what you need to achieve? In some ways, this can be the incentives. Lean more on the intrinsic vs. extrinsic motivators most will say.
  5. Leadership​ – In many ways in entrepreneurship, this can be you and kind of you alone. However, you can also lean on mentors and co-founders or even idols to lead you. Though, it’d best be someone or some example that you can have some direct interaction with.

​The five steps are from Travis, but the rest was in my terms of understanding. Let’s see if I got it right when he reads this (and potentially corrects me). The biggest stepping stones that I find people having trouble with is in Rhythm and perhaps the bedrock of their Purpose. Whether it’s finding time to workout in the morning, building a new business, or any other transformation, it’s imperative to find the balance that works for you (Rhythm). Part of that may include taking a step back and uncovering what it is that really drives you, not just motivates, but really DRIVES you (Purpose/ Why).
** As an aside and for bonus points, I thoroughly enjoyed Simon Sinek’s TED talk “Start with Why“. Good talk on what really drives people, and it’s not the “what” that a company does, but the “why”. My good friend Michael Flanigan, Co-Founder of innovation leaders Covello, recently shared his thoughts where in the [near] future companies will all need to have a humanizing element to be successful and sustainable.
What are your thoughts about the five steps to overcoming the CHASM? Are we missing a step? 
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