I’m publishing a post on a Saturday. Again. Over the last
seven posts including this one, I’ve only published twice on a Wednesday – the day I designated as my posting day. I’m
struggling with consistency. This is the first time I’ve struggled like this
over the 422 blog posts I’ve published since 2012. Since October 2013, I’ve
been like clockwork publishing every week with a year or two publishing twice a
week on the days I’ve designated. What’s going on??
Of course, writing is not the only area where I’m struggling
right now. Friends are wondering where I’ve been. And to some credit, I have been
traveling. However, I’ve also been hard to track down digitally, as well. I’m not
active right now. Period.
role at Verusen (we just re-branded from AUTIT) has me very busy. The
culture is drastically different than my previous positions. We’re meeting-heavy.
Those meetings last at least an hour. This is a departure from my former
30-minute meetings. That’s just the tip of the iceberg of working cultural
differences I am assimilating to.
I’m in the process of selling my home. This has brought
about new responsibilities and tasks including home repairs. Documented in a previous
post, home repairs can be taxing and introduce unforeseen problems. Then, I’m
also on the lookout for a home to buy.
Then, I have upcoming nuptials. Granted, my fiancée has been
an absolute queen in this regard. She’s taken on most of the planning.
So, there’s a lot.
It comes down to instability.
In 2016, I wrote a piece “Finding
Balance in Entrepreneurship and Life (Everything)”. I wrote about the positive
aspects of having areas of stress – it motivates growth. I posited that based
on UC Riverside’s Seven
Dimensions of Wellness, I could thrive with 4 of the 7 being unstable. Looking
at those seven in my current state:
- Social – unstable.
I have spent less time with friends recently in any form of communication. Family
has been stable outside of also less communication. Though, I am starting my
own family unit with my fiancée in two months.
- Physical –
unstable. I’m still recovering from my neck surgery. Unfortunately, I have
been too eager to get back to my pre-injury fitness levels. I am introducing
new stress to parts of my body that are not ready for that level, yet.
– unstable. I just joined Verusen. I’m still navigating the cultural
differences on top of the challenges of an early-stage startup (read: the rest
of building a business).
– unstable. My peace and harmony in life comes from fulfilling my personal
mission of “Changing lives for the greater through entrepreneurial endeavors”.
However, I’m struggling with being an employee again rather than building my
own company. This goes together with Occupation. It’s an existential question. To
better align with and further my mission, is this where I should be?
– unstable. I’ve changed where I work. This forces my driving patterns to
also change. Meanwhile, my home no longer feels like a home. I have no definitive
plans of where I will live next.
– stable. I’m learning a lot right now in almost every aspect of my life. Professionally,
I’m absorbing a lot – new market, deeper in supply chain knowledge, new role,
new challenges of a different early-stage startup, etc. I’m learning a lot of home
selling. I’m traveling more including a trip to Tokyo this past week. This was
a completely new city and country for me. It was amazing.
– stable… mostly. That is, I’m not experiencing any rapid shifts in my
mood. If anything, I’m realizing my stress. Then, I’m distancing myself from
emotions. I’m being very direct in what needs to be done. And of course, I’m open
to sharing what is happening like I am now.
As you can see, I’m grading my state as 5 out of 7 being
unstable. This requires me to continually keep my emotional state in check. Otherwise,
I could very well start a downward trend.
Most folks are healthy with three areas under some stress. Though
I feel I thrive with four areas under stress, five areas is challenging me more
than I thought.
This is temporary.
There’s a lot happening right now. A lot has happened since
last year with the sale of Burner
Rocket. Many things are coming to a head now.
I have lived in my home for almost 10 years. Once I move
into my next home, I expect several years of stability there. And of course, I’ll
have a great partner in my fiancée when that happens.
I have also adjusted my workout routines to ease up on my rehabilitation
and general fitness programs. I’m maintaining the number of days I go to the
gym including 5AM sessions. However, I switched one resistance workout to a
pure stretch and foam roll session. My changes also increase the days of rest for
body parts. And soon, I will be clear for contact sports like soccer. This has been
a big missing piece for me.
On the work front, will be sorted out over the next couple months
through results. This will reveal how well we work as a team and if I can add
meaningful impact. That, of course, will then influence the Spiritual
dimension. But as an early-stage company, this will be one dimension that remains
unstable for good “growth paranoia”.
There’s a lot happening in my life, yes. There’s more instability
than I ordinarily thrive on. My inconsistent blog publishing is a visible
indicator of this. However, this is all temporary. I will find balance soon.
Till then, I’ll remain open.
Side question: have you noticed any visible inconsistencies
or anomalies in your life? In another? Why?