F*ck. Grabs your attention, right? Leave it to Mark Manson, then, to write a book titled, “The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck”. Call it another “self-improvement” guide to attaining that oh-so-happy-life. Except Mark does so dropping f-bombs. A lot.
As I wrote a couple weeks ago in Frustration from Nothing, the book started to resonate with me from the first chapter. The point in that post and in a recurring theme of the book was being happy with the present – not always striving for more.
Some good tidbits of wisdom in the book:
  • Less about not not giving a f*ck. More about giving the right f*cks. That is, giving f*cks too often and for everything is a waste of time and creates unhappiness. Instead, Mark espouses giving f*cks about the things that matter.
  • Giving the right f*cks requires recalibrating one’s value system. Values are easily said, but more difficult to live and take action of. What one does a conscious decision made and in accordance with one’s values. If actions and words are in conflict, then ones values may actually be different as well.
  • There are always problems. Life is really full of problems, one after another. The result, then, is what problems a person chooses to live with. What problems excitethe person.
  • Just do something. Don’t wait for the motivation to do something. Instead, do something, and let the reactions of doing something take over. Action can createmotivation.
  • Too often, we get stuck believing in our original beliefs due to the culture we’ve surrounded ourselves with. Traveling enables us to immerse ourselves and experience the cultures and ideas beyond our worlds. Traveling exposes us to thinking beyond our own ideas. Traveling shows us it’s possible to live in a world with completely different values from our own.

Mark Manson’s book was enjoyable not only for resonating with my own ideas, but also shedding light on ideas I hadn’t considered, or considered but didn’t understand – the notion about travel and its ability to show us cultures vastly different from my own, as one example.

Plus, he cusses. A lot. It’s refreshing, too.
I just started listening to The Subtle Art of Not Giving A F*ck by Mark Manson. Perhaps it’s the number of F-bombs being so liberally dropped, but the message has been highly enjoyable and resonating. Within the first chapter, I realized an important inverse point to my post “Who do you envy?” That inverse point being, “Why are you not satisfied with what you do have?”
The desires to always improve and have “more” runs deep within me. Coincidentally, the morning before I started the book, I thought about adequacy of the things I already have. I thought about how my frustration dealing with UPS on the phone for 30 minutes for an object I didn’t need.
I was on hold that morning, just as I was on hold for 20 minutes the night before. I was frustrated. I order a pair of shoes just days earlier, and the shipment was delayed. After the fourth call, I realized I was frustrated seemingly for no good reason.
  1. The shoes I ordered were purely out of pleasure. I didn’t need or really want new shoes. However, the marketing automation gremlins got me with a deal on a pair that were intriguing. If I didn’t see or take advantage of this deal, I would not have been frustrated. I would not have cared.
  2. I signed up for a free service during checkout espousing 2-day shipping. 2-day shipping is my benchmark now that I’m an avid Amazon Prime member. This applies to every merchant for me – and I expect free shipping. However, I received a notification that I would get the shoes in 3 days.
  3. The shoes didn’t arrive on the 3rdday. The courier cited incorrect address for failure/ delay. Except, it’s the right address. The courier’s dispatch couldn’t address this in time for the courier to re-try.
  4. I learned on the 4th day that I wouldn’t get the shoes for another two days. The UPS partner was closed on Saturday.

Too many infractions cut me a frustrated figure. The frustration was borne from a purely pleasure-seeking motive – a needless pair of shoes. From then on, my expectations took over. Despite only recently wanting the shoes, I was surprisingly very frustrated.