I’m Struggling with Consistency: Why?

I’m publishing a post on a Saturday. Again. Over the last seven posts including this one, I’ve only published twice on a Wednesday – the day I designated as my posting day. I’m struggling with consistency. This is the first time I’ve struggled like this over the 422 blog posts I’ve published since 2012. Since October 2013, I’ve been like clockwork publishing every week with a year or two publishing twice a week on the days I’ve designated. What’s going on??

A lot.

Of course, writing is not the only area where I’m struggling right now. Friends are wondering where I’ve been. And to some credit, I have been traveling. However, I’ve also been hard to track down digitally, as well. I’m not active right now. Period.

My new role at Verusen (we just re-branded from AUTIT) has me very busy. The culture is drastically different than my previous positions. We’re meeting-heavy. Those meetings last at least an hour. This is a departure from my former 30-minute meetings. That’s just the tip of the iceberg of working cultural differences I am assimilating to.

I’m in the process of selling my home. This has brought about new responsibilities and tasks including home repairs. Documented in a previous post, home repairs can be taxing and introduce unforeseen problems. Then, I’m also on the lookout for a home to buy.

Then, I have upcoming nuptials. Granted, my fiancée has been an absolute queen in this regard. She’s taken on most of the planning.

So, there’s a lot.

It comes down to instability.

In 2016, I wrote a piece “Finding Balance in Entrepreneurship and Life (Everything)”. I wrote about the positive aspects of having areas of stress – it motivates growth. I posited that based on UC Riverside’s Seven Dimensions of Wellness, I could thrive with 4 of the 7 being unstable. Looking at those seven in my current state:

  • Social – unstable. I have spent less time with friends recently in any form of communication. Family has been stable outside of also less communication. Though, I am starting my own family unit with my fiancée in two months.
  • Physical – unstable. I’m still recovering from my neck surgery. Unfortunately, I have been too eager to get back to my pre-injury fitness levels. I am introducing new stress to parts of my body that are not ready for that level, yet.
  • Occupational – unstable. I just joined Verusen. I’m still navigating the cultural differences on top of the challenges of an early-stage startup (read: the rest of building a business).
  • Spiritual – unstable. My peace and harmony in life comes from fulfilling my personal mission of “Changing lives for the greater through entrepreneurial endeavors”. However, I’m struggling with being an employee again rather than building my own company. This goes together with Occupation. It’s an existential question. To better align with and further my mission, is this where I should be?
  • Environmental – unstable. I’ve changed where I work. This forces my driving patterns to also change. Meanwhile, my home no longer feels like a home. I have no definitive plans of where I will live next.
  • Intellectual – stable. I’m learning a lot right now in almost every aspect of my life. Professionally, I’m absorbing a lot – new market, deeper in supply chain knowledge, new role, new challenges of a different early-stage startup, etc. I’m learning a lot of home selling. I’m traveling more including a trip to Tokyo this past week. This was a completely new city and country for me. It was amazing.  
  • Emotional – stable… mostly. That is, I’m not experiencing any rapid shifts in my mood. If anything, I’m realizing my stress. Then, I’m distancing myself from emotions. I’m being very direct in what needs to be done. And of course, I’m open to sharing what is happening like I am now.

As you can see, I’m grading my state as 5 out of 7 being unstable. This requires me to continually keep my emotional state in check. Otherwise, I could very well start a downward trend.

Most folks are healthy with three areas under some stress. Though I feel I thrive with four areas under stress, five areas is challenging me more than I thought.

This is temporary.

There’s a lot happening right now. A lot has happened since last year with the sale of Burner Rocket. Many things are coming to a head now.

I have lived in my home for almost 10 years. Once I move into my next home, I expect several years of stability there. And of course, I’ll have a great partner in my fiancée when that happens.

I have also adjusted my workout routines to ease up on my rehabilitation and general fitness programs. I’m maintaining the number of days I go to the gym including 5AM sessions. However, I switched one resistance workout to a pure stretch and foam roll session. My changes also increase the days of rest for body parts. And soon, I will be clear for contact sports like soccer. This has been a big missing piece for me.

On the work front, will be sorted out over the next couple months through results. This will reveal how well we work as a team and if I can add meaningful impact. That, of course, will then influence the Spiritual dimension. But as an early-stage company, this will be one dimension that remains unstable for good “growth paranoia”.

There’s a lot happening in my life, yes. There’s more instability than I ordinarily thrive on. My inconsistent blog publishing is a visible indicator of this. However, this is all temporary. I will find balance soon. Till then, I’ll remain open.

Side question: have you noticed any visible inconsistencies or anomalies in your life? In another? Why?