I am on a tear finishing books. I just finished Donald Miller’s Scary Close. Donald highlights his personal journey to finding intimacy in relationships. In many specific examples, Donald writes about his courtship of his wife Betsy.
This is much different from my other business-oriented, self-improvement, sales-y books. Not even sure why or how I stumbled on this, but hey, intimacy in relationships is good, right? This is even more true in today’s age of spam and automation.
I don’t have a laundry list of take-aways. Instead, there’s one recurring and clear point – be authentic.
Donald’s book focuses a lot on Betsy calling out Donald when he wasn’t being genuine. Further, Donald learned that he could never fully engage in a true, successful relationship without being himself.
In years past, Donald played some role (acting) that he thought he wanted to be… impress others with who he acted out to be. Each role –and relationship—ended up unsatisfying and short-lived. He found authenticity to be the key to meaningful relationships.
Even in his observation of parents who pushed their kids to be someone or do something they weren’t naturally, Donald realized it was the parents’ lack of self-awareness and lack of authenticity that “motivated” the parents to push their kids in a different direction. He found that the more parents looked inwards (at themselves), they could more fully appreciate who their kids were – their individual selves.
Perhaps because of all the other books I’ve read or the highly personal nature of Donald’s writing, I likely won’t remember too much from this book beyond the theme. The last several years have been transformative for me in being truer to myself – to being my authentic self.
However, good to hear a story of a man who realized the importance of authenticity, and how it helped him find Betsy.
I don’t have to always put an entrepreneurial, self-improvement, sales-y twist on every book I read. However, it’s important to be authentic in all of our relationships. Business, after all, is made of lots of micro-relationships, let alone the macro B2B relationship.

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