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With the New Year Comes Worry

This just in – I’m worried. In my head, I actually said it, “This just in – I’m troubled.” This is a more personal post. (Arguable to say all of my posts are personal posts.)

I’m staring at the new year. Then, I’m staring at the work in front of me at SalesWise. Then, I stare at the glimpse of a life I aspire to achieve. Then, I stare at the reality. In many ways, they’re all in conflict. They’re not wholly exclusive from one another.

I’m thinking about the life I aspire for, but it comes at a substantial cost today with no promises of the future. How do I build a company worth a damn, and still meet (let alone exceed) the expectations of others around me?

I’m worried. I’m troubled.

Coming soon is my birthday. But more importantly, there is time passing by that I also realize is shared with others, like a girlfriend. I can sacrifice some of my time, but at some point, I am now expensing others.

Life won’t slow down. As much as I want to do certain things, visit certain places, build a certain life, it all comes with costs – opportunity costs.

Wanting to be an entrepreneur, and being one are completely different things. Right now, I want to be one since I am working for someone else’s company. I’m building the wealth for another. I’m forgoing much of the risk of being an entrepreneur. Though, I’ve also compromised. I’m forgoing, perhaps, much more security (money) than a larger corporation.

The great part is that the new year is full of decisions that have to be made, and they’re all my decisions. I’ll have to make many decisions soon. They’ll have big ripple effects on the future. They may even dictate if I should ever be an entrepreneur again.

I said it before, and I’ll say it again – I’m worried.

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